This has been on my mind since last Summer, so it's time to write about it!
Over Summer I worked as a guide down at Port Arthur, taking day tours and ghost tours. If I look back, there's maybe 2 or 3 events in my life which taught me heaps and changed me, and during which I didn't even see what God was doing. This is one.
It was just another job, but in some ways it wasn't. To keep it short as I can, this experience was pivotal in 3 main ways:
One: the supernatural. I'm terrified by anything about ghosts, aliens, you name it. Don't watch Signs or the Sixth Sense with me, I will be a trembling, hysterical mess by the end of it! Seriously though, these things have always scared me. I never wanted to take ghost tours but they asked me to and I strangely said yes.. it was going to be an enormous challenge for someone mortally afraid of the idea of ghosts!
During training I started hearing stories that made me feel sick, because these guides seemed so convinced of everything they'd experienced, which was some pretty unnerving stuff. (And yes, down there, the word "experience" is embedded in their vocabulary; it stands for anything ghosty!) The other guides seemed to classify people as either "believers" or "non-believers". And I was of course a "non-believer". (Hang on, shouldn't the question be whether or not we believe in God? Isn't that more important than whether we believe in ghosts?) They kept saying to me, "wait til something happens to you, you'll see".
So I started taking tours and made sure my script was along the lines of "be careful what you wish for.. this isn't exciting and cool, but quite dangerous to get caught up in" (not in those words of course!) And I was super scared in those dark houses and prisons! Especially knowing the stories. More and more, I'd hear first-hand stories that chilled me but I'd keep pushing them out of head. Inevitably though, I came to a point of questioning my own faith. Not drastically, but for the first time I can think of, I experienced doubt.
To cut it short, I eventually realised through talking to people and praying (and I don't know how I didn't realise it sooner.. maybe cos I didn't talk and pray) that it was simple: trust God. There are lots of traps and things that are so convincing and which can manipulate your thoughts.. where you think you have no option but to believe it. And you completely forget to trust. So here's what I learnt: Satan is very real. I think everyone comes to that hard realisation at some stage, and I'm glad my initial realisation is over! It wasn't fun.
Once I figured this out, I could walk through these dark buildings alone and I'd still be nervous, but I wouldn't be afraid. I knew that no matter what, God is above it. And with his power behind me, I was above it. What an awesome way to learn the greatest truth!
Ok, two: I learnt that the people down there, none (or maybe 1) of whom were Christians (that I knew of), were so easy to make close friends with. I lived at the hostel there for a bit and got to know the girls, and they are some of the most awesome individuals I've met. Time with them was incredibly fun and most of us are still in touch. They don't know God but they are such great people and I can thank God for the opportunity of knowing them.
And three: You can go through a frustratingly confusing time where you don't see that a solution is possible, but God always guides you out of it and never fails you. Every time, you can look back and see his patient, never-changing love throughout it all. It's cool, cos it makes you realise how much we're nothing without him. The end!
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
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11 comments:
Hey Renae :)
I stumbled accross your blog, so great to read through your posts, hope that you're doing really well! Our God certainly is very amazing, i'm learning at the moment that trusting God is a daily decision...it is just so comforting to know that He has is all under His control :)
Hugs, Bridget
Hey! Assuming you are the Bridget I have in mind.. how's Queensland? Good to hear from ya.
Well I don't think we get into the supernatural, but I was meant to get your email to send you a manuscript... And Andy's missed you!
Anyway, enjoy catchin up with family.
Did you figure out the mystery??? Have you solved the riddle of the MYC mattress shenanigans?
Hey Jerome! A few questions: we don't get into the supernatural.. who's we? And which manuscript? And who's Andy.. erk. I'm sure I should know what you're talking about!! And no, I did not solve the mystery. I assume you're referring to the 30 mattresses in Chris's room? My main suspect is Tim.
1) I said I'd send you a copy of the novel - it is written by myself and Ant.
2) Andy's is the bakery/icecream shop at Westbury.
3)Yes, I am referring to the mattress mystery. So far I have only had one submission to my "What happened to the mattresses" hypothesis competition* - and Jonny hasn't quite got it... or maybe he has. (*Referring to competition on my blog. Gee, this is worse than Jolly's self-promotion. I feel low.)
I think that was all...
Was it ghosts? The ghosts helped Tim move the mattresses.
Oh yes.. well I'd love to see the manuscript. I'll go to your blog now and check out this competition.. and Jonny, no I think Tim is solely responsible, no help from anyone!
There were an awful lot of mattresses... I heard Simon's name mentioned, not to mention Jolly. Alan may have been in on it too. Were you?
I should know, considering I was taking full credit for it...
Interesting. Tim, Simon, Jolly, Alan and you. I guess it would've taken 5 people to carry that many mattresses..
Mind you, the falsely accused in that list wouldn't be too happy at being lumped in with the rest of us bushrangers...
As Damon said, the risk of a covert operation is that you might actually succeed... and considering you (Jonnie did get close, but still hasn't got it completely down) still haven't been able to piece together the full story, it looks like we pulled it off. Dammit.
See, the problem with that is that we're all final yearers (we might be back), so if people don't realise that, they won't pick up the baton and Thursday night pranks might... die.
Did you get your group photo? I was quite impressed with the photoshop efforts to get Simon and Pryderi in.
Haha yes they were a bit squished in on the side, hey. Yeah I thought that was so cool of Sam to do that. Yeah it's sad to think of that as being our last MYC. And you should pass on advice to the still-at-uni people to carry on the Thursday night tradition.
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